Being Closeted Indian Gay

I must say that I honestly got into fitness because I got rejected from them all when I was young. How much ever I believed in love, I realized that at the end of the day in the gay world looks speak volume. From a fat ugly potato I trained. From a nerdy guy that I was I got into modelling. It was just recently that for a show I had to wear a loosely clad dhoti,and all those guys who used to  ignore me, especially this one accountant guy, who travels a lot, he and I used to text initially and then he seemed to be busy with all the other guys. Just after this, he starts to text and tell me that he is keen to meet. Well, not just him, there were many others who seemed to be behind, showing more interest. I remember how I kinda rejected to go behind these men who seem to be "hot" but extremely shallow, I wanted someone who would enjoy my company for who I am. Who would listen to what I think of the world, who would know my likes and dislikes. Who would want to spend time wi...

Somewhere down the line, Karma started working in a completely different way for me. Something that is absurd yet logical. Every time I am in a situation where I am hurt or distressed, I used to want to see the other person go through the same agony as me, but what happens to me atleast is that I would be pushed to a situation where I become the other person, and I would be forced to make the same decision. For example, I was with a guy long back, who was dating a girl. Outside, he would show all this love to the girl and that would make me feel insecure. I eventually left him feeling bad for myself. After so many years, I had a girl interested in me, and I had to pretty much be with her, while I still had this guy in my heart. I realized then that though he had shown all the love outwardly to this girl, he might have been thinking of me, like I did! After the "walk of shame", I felt angry at myself, shameful and lot of regret for whatever had happened, my mind wouldn...

usually walk of shame happens when you have had sex with a total stranger, and you just regret to have done that while getting back home in the morning. But, to me it was different. Some few months back, I met this guy, he was really smart. well behaved and very talented. Mind you, I didn't meet him on any apps, but for work. Everytime he comes to work, he gives special attention to me, while other men "see", he "watches" me. While other man just touch, he "feels" me. He used to openly make it clear that he is there to see me and me only. I used to feel so special. But I never had the guts to reciprocate. Partly because the reputation he has for being a player. he is extremely smart, very soft spoken and has that charm. Girls fall for him so easy. I used act like I don't like him, but all my peers started noticing the attention I get from him. He talks only to me, the way he looks at me, how closely he stands, how he gets pissed if I have a figh...

I am usually someone who keeps it minimal when it comes to getting physical, and yet I can say that I have had the best sex, almost every time I have gotten physical. I take time to see if the person matches the wave length and I usually go for Versatile men, although some Tops and Bottoms do seem legit. Even in my relationships, I have believed that I hate sex, but I love "Making Love"!. I personally feel that making love is empowering and extremely good for the body and mind. Some Tips on how to make love that I found to be a great experience with men. Kissing - I love passionate kissing. The guys I have been with have mostly been passionate kissers, and try out different ways while making out. Some kiss closed mouth, some give constant pecs, some smooch all over and some use their tongues. Kissing can only be done with those guys you feel passionate about, and the way a guy kisses tells a lot about them. Some just bite and shove their tongue inside you, and if you are...

Having written about people who have dated both younger and older guys, I felt that I need to talk about the younger guys. As I was younger, may be to my own preference, I didn't like to date younger guys, but as I grow older, I feel that they have more substance, than I ever did, back in the age, in fact, Some guys are much more mature and worldly than the older men. Energy - I feel that younger guys have a lot of energy. They want to do a lot of things, they can spend more time, and energy on you. In fact, they are not tied down by responsibilities of an adult that they are carefree and happy. They might have their own dramas, but that's just excess of this energy that they don't know how to spend. But even that makes you feel alive. In fact, I feel that if you are really an adult, you'll enjoy the drama ( as long as its not toxic ). They have this passion towards life, love and their own interests that makes you energetic. Innocence - While older men are ext...

Its very common for a boy to fall for those guys in class. To me, I have had many such crushes throughout my life. As far as I can remember, I have liked guys who are ambitious and cute. Guys who are sturdy and manly. One of those guys I liked when I was in 10th, used to sit next to me. I used to annoy him all the time. But he would still sit next to me. He wasn't the most good looking, but he was very smart, and ambitious. I loved that in him, but he never paid any attention to me than what he would give the others. Moving on, I was using the "app" with such disappointment, and there  was a profile of a decent torso. What attracted me more was the words in the profile. Very much to the point. and I had shared my picture, and I got replied with my name!. For a second I decided to block the user, but the way he enquired seemed like he didn;t want to harm, but just wanted to confirm. I gave it a shot ( for some reason I was so confident), and he didnt' share his pict...

Most the apps prefer dating older men. Including me, I would dated someone younger but I preer someone older as I feel that they are in my wavelength. But may be most people prefer for few the these reasons which I think you can relate to. Feeling of being protected - Sometimes we end up being a "grown up" all the time that you like it when someone else take that space. You feel like there is some one elder to you and that gives you a safe space. Whether they are really that way, is something to debate on, but being an indian, you end up giving them the due respect anyway. When someone elder to you is soft and nice to you, you feel special, and enjoy that feeling of being taken care of. Settled Financially - Sometimes, when you date someone younger, and you as young as you are, you have to make sure that you have enough for going out. But older men, most of them, are financially settled and you can simply be sure that if you are a bit less of cash, they can cover for...