Being Closeted Indian Gay

Valentines day is the day when couples celebrate their love for each other. every Valentine's day, I have dreamt would be better than the one before. But things didn't really catch up that well. At this juncture, I was thinking how different my life would have been if I was not Gay. Emotional stability - Most couples give each other an emotional stability. They give a kind of happiness and support. there is always this feeling that whatever happens, you and I will be together. Having dated guys for over 5 years, Not one guy had made me feel that way. I end up feeling miserable at dates because they only look at me as a piece of meat for them to taste. My heart goes for a toss. The kiss, the hugs, the eyes, they all are filled with lust. They quench the thirst of the body, but my heart is dry. There has been hardly any initiative or any kind of reciprocation, as all men feel entitled somehow, and expect emotional advances but never give back. Everyday I deal with Shame. gui

I had mentioned why Indian gay men stay single. But those men above 30s are mostly married and live a double life. I used to feel bad for those who are married and then realised that they just took an option out of need that the situation demands. Recently I saw a gay man, who is pretty much friends with many other gay men, posing with his fiance, and then a group photo of him with his other gay friends. To that girl, of course, they are his "Friends" and I don;t know how discreet he is, but then it was quite clear that he had decided to tie the knot.That got me thinking how things are going to fall for me, and other guys similar to him. Commitment-phobic Men - Men are hardly committed, or pose to be so. I know that this is pretty much obvious and I have been saying this time and time again, but this does not drive away the fact that men need some commitment in life, where the other party is committed to you, while you can fuck around, and the answer is "Women&quo