Skip to main content

Why Indian gay men get married

I had mentioned why Indian gay men stay single. But those men above 30s are mostly married and live a double life. I used to feel bad for those who are married and then realised that they just took an option out of need that the situation demands.

Recently I saw a gay man, who is pretty much friends with many other gay men, posing with his fiance, and then a group photo of him with his other gay friends. To that girl, of course, they are his "Friends" and I don;t know how discreet he is, but then it was quite clear that he had decided to tie the knot.That got me thinking how things are going to fall for me, and other guys similar to him.

Commitment-phobic Men -

Men are hardly committed, or pose to be so. I know that this is pretty much obvious and I have been saying this time and time again, but this does not drive away the fact that men need some commitment in life, where the other party is committed to you, while you can fuck around, and the answer is "Women". Men in the early ages gave "children" to women, and while they were busy tending to the children, he went to marry another woman to tend to him, who had more children and he went to the next. The same scenario here, where the guy marries, and the girl is committed to him and his children while he can fuck around with men! I am sure no man would be okay with this, and may be it works out thanks to Open relationships.

Societal Pressure -

This is quite obvious too. We have a society that is hell bent on getting us married, have kids and make sure that we spend our lives for them. Though there is nothing wrong with it, We end up not choosing our lives the way we want/ This makes the guys an option in life, while girls are but a compulsion. You can spend time with guys, in the closet, but outside, you have to be social, show the world that you can take care of woman. 

Frauds -

LGBT has no protection. We are in the shadow and we have no one to whom we can complain if things get messy. There are quite a few frauds in the community who date multiple men and get things from them, they suck your life and self worth and you can do nothing about it. You end up living in the safety of the law, when it comes to women. More than that, you have the safety of your family, your friends. You have people to whom you can go to, a huge support system

Support System -

A married straight couple has issues, like any couples do, you are answerable to your family, your friends, and even the law. If you have children, then you would rather co-exist for their sake. Gay relationships have NO support system. Infact, Most gay friends are likely to snatch away your guy if he is handsome, or you would see that your own best friend would cheat on your guy. IF something goes wrong, you have no one. You go into it thinking you have someone, and when that person itself creates issues, you end up feeling more lonely than how it all started. Without the support of your family, friends and the society, you would rather not jump into anything.

Meaning to Life -

Two men,who are committed end up living a mundane life, there is nothing more than each other's company, especially if they don't have a societal approval. They don;t have weddings to attend to, they don't have family dinners they are invited to, they don't have kids they watch growing, and parents teachers meeting to attend to. They don't have a spouse who has periods, who will go through menopause, who might get pregnant again. Their lifestyle becomes just parties, or friends, or hunting, in case they are in an open relationship. But, with marriage, you play the games of the society and feel that your life has a meaning.

Easy men -

To get a girl to say yes to sex is a huge deal, atleast in India, you need to do a lot of stunts for it, but with gay men, all you need is install an app. Whether you are married or in an open relationship, whether you are old, hairy, young, skinny, pot bellied, there is always someone who is ready to spread his legs for you. With Women, you need to invest, and the more you invest, the more chances that you wouldn't want to do the same for another. She takes up your time, your money, your attention to an extent in return to even basic sexual favours. With men, you need just the app. If you are lucky, they give you the place, the time and a hassle free session/ With more men growing sexually desperate, the chances of a guy investing their time and energy to you, isn't gonna happen!

Having said all this, I don't mean to say that gay men getting married is a solution. Unless we adress the issues that gay men face, it is almost impossible to stop any guy from marriage. We can cry all we want but the guys would rather tie the knot and settle in life, than to live a life of bidding on other men.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of ...

Walk of Shame

usually walk of shame happens when you have had sex with a total stranger, and you just regret to have done that while getting back home in the morning. But, to me it was different. Some few months back, I met this guy, he was really smart. well behaved and very talented. Mind you, I didn't meet him on any apps, but for work. Everytime he comes to work, he gives special attention to me, while other men "see", he "watches" me. While other man just touch, he "feels" me. He used to openly make it clear that he is there to see me and me only. I used to feel so special. But I never had the guts to reciprocate. Partly because the reputation he has for being a player. he is extremely smart, very soft spoken and has that charm. Girls fall for him so easy. I used act like I don't like him, but all my peers started noticing the attention I get from him. He talks only to me, the way he looks at me, how closely he stands, how he gets pissed if I have a figh...

The Average Gay Fat kid

To become a self proclaimed Hot Gay Indian man doesn't take much efforts. It happens quite often. The fact that the gay world is driven by the looks comes from the general quote that "women go by the words and Men go by the looks", Gay or Straight, I am sure that rule works well. it is also by the fact that the self proclaimation is quite easy for us. Men, in general, with all our testosterone end up thinking that we are much good looking than we really are. women on the other hand, always end up thinking otherwise (and yet we say, Men are visually stimulated). For someone who was but a budding "Man" back then, as a teenager, I was wondering if I was "Man" enough to call myself fat. But everyone around me sure did. A teenager who had bountyful fat flowing from all sides, the only feature that I was proud of must be my cute face and milky white skin, along with thick hair and feline eyesbrows (If only you were a girl, you would have been pretty, I ha...