Inhibitions

Having had failed in two major relationships and friendship gone sour, it isn't the easiest to fall for someone again. But I told myself not to fall for such happenings in life. In fact, all this would make meaning when you meet that one guy who would prove that all men are NOT the same. ;)

And then this guy comes, younger to me, had my apprehensions in the beginning. Would I end up baby sitting him? Would he be dramatic for me to handle. Those stereotypes ran in my mind, but honestly when I had to "disappear" suddenly for work, he cared. Which made an impact in me that felt right. And it didn't feel dramatic, or too much. It felt right.

Timing and distance isn't exactly helping. I don't know if he is the one. He isn't the perfect guy, but I feel I like him a bit more, may be because he likes me the way I am. With all of us trying to change each other, or expect for someone better, he seemed pretty okay with me. I know that feeling though. Be it any guy I have dared before, the fact that they were them was more than enough. Expect for the attention and being faithful, I don't think anything mattered much. There is a little of everything, intimacy, passion and acceptance, nothing is more or less. like a well cooked meal.

Busy guy, yet another doc-in-making, (seriously). I am fond of him, but inhibitions from the past stop me. Fear of being taken for granted haunts me. Better to take it slow, yet the heart beats fast. It wants it all. If only there was more attention, more conversations, but its fine. Better to wait, and look for a long term than talk it all out at once with nothing left in the future. Let the knowing happen by itself. I wish I am not being an emotional fool yet again...