Skip to main content

Nun Shaming

It might seem from what I write, that I am "Pro- monogamy" and that I could be judgmental about the people who sleep around. Gay men have been okay with the hook up culture from the beginning, as being gay was socially unacceptable and all they can do is quench their lust secretly. It was the only thing that they were allowed to do. When we look for a girl for dating or marriage, we don't just see their "size" and "Shape". We look at her character, her ideologies and beyond. But why don't we look at a gay man beyond his muscles and dick size?.

"Being a slut", could be sexually liberating, if gay men were not allowed to have multiple partners and if it was a "sin", like with the case of women, in patriarchy. Here, the case is the exact opposite. Gay men are seen widely, around the globe, throughout, as sex objects. How many of us are fed up of every conversation in the apps about "Nudes? Place? Positions? Group?". We are a highly sexually liberated lot already. But, are we more than that? The answer is a no.

I see all these men, with chiseled bodies and handsome faces, profile after profile. Some really nice guys hunting to be called "Cute, hot" etc. Many who don't have any idea or interest in getting to know you as a person. In fact, the Gay community is about glorifying being the slut. Reducing ourselves to be some nymphomaniacs. I don't honestly see it as celebrating sexuality, but recognizing us only for our sexuality. But, we are way beyond that. But, how many of us celebrate that?

I made it a point when I wrote the blog. although, I have previously written "Most read" erotica in many forums, I would write about romance and relationship dynamics in this one. Because, all this is lost behind "sex". How many of us crave to find decent men around to have a conversation with, beyond sex? How many of us wish we found someone who value us for our capability to love over the capability to last (in bed)?

Gay men are wonderful human beings. From the people whom I have spoken to, they are capable of loving someone deeply, they can be your mother, your father, your brother, your best friend, and why not? your husband. All in one. A gay man is capable of being an amazing father. But, we don't see beyond the muscles, roundness of their ass and the thickness of their manhood. And in fact, we all do something that is regressive to the community as a whole, and that is "Nun shaming".

In a male chauvinistic world, it makes sense for a girl to be sexually liberated, and have her right over her body, not to show her soul or be someone's wife to have an orgasm. But why not a man who has other things beyond his looks want to offer his body to only those who see him for what he is?, when will our community be "open" to see a man beyond him being "Cute"?.

I wish to see the community not "peer pressured" and "coerced" to sell their body in exchange for love. I wish to see men trying to "date" and even choose a date, based on his ability to be a boy friend/husband and not just because he is a "sugar daddy". 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of

Being Married

When you really connect with someone who is going to get married and has a fiance, and he says "if only had we met before", isn't something you just take. I was adviced by more than couple of gay friends and Bi friends who said that Gay relationships are not trust worthy, that you should get married and settled down with a girl. At this juncture in life, marriage is a long way to go, yet, those of you who like you, love you and care for you being married or engaged doesn't give a great feeling about it. Things that I feel when a gay guy gets married. Its a Sham - A couple of guys have approached me that I be their "partner", while they are married. I honestly felt bad for the girl. While she exclusively loves him and waits for him to give her attention, he goes around with guys or a guy, to quench his thirst, sexually or otherwise. Being taken for granted - It feels like that one guy is taking the girl for granted, that she deserves only this and no

Why I don't fit in the gay world

As a closeted Bisexual, I feel that I am not understood. I am not understood by both gay men and Straight. May be because being Gay is portrayed in a way that I am not and it is hard to fit in. When I went to meet a gay friend of mine, He made me wear make up and I just wanted to throw up. I didn't want to dance bharathnatiyam, nor do I enjoy "classical" music of any sort. I don't watch "Ru paul's drag race",  nor do I always pout for the selfies. I don't want to dress up and giggle and I don't have "Girl" friends. I dont like to be referred as "She" nor will I want to refer a man as "She". May be the only thing that I feel is the same with another gay guy would be the fact that both of us want to be with a man. And having said that, I want a Man, who would have the attributes of a man. No, that does not make me a girl, no I don't want to behave like one too. I am not so expressive and I am not dramatic. I don