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Open Relationships

I decided to talk to a couple who were in an open relationship. They seemed to have settled down and loved doing their thing. and when I say a couple, they have been together for 17 years. Outwardly it seemed like they are fine with it, but as I moved closer, I realised that one of them always feel insecure. Especially when they feel that they are not as fit or good looking as their partner.

When we walked around, it was obvious that the fitter one was hitting on me. He was walking with me, sitting next to me, and I made sure that I give attention to them both. But even then, the other one was visibly feeling left out, while his partner was eyeing his new candy. They seemed to be understanding, but to me it was hard to ignore the insecurities that lured in the other.

Most of the time, in relationships, its quite common that they don't have to be in a level playing field. One of them could be richer, more handsome, more educated, more masculine. In this case, being secure is not easy. With open relationships, there is always that one person who seems to be worried. They enjoy with other men too, but at the end of the day, there is insecurity.

More than that, I saw a helplessness, as if he had no other choice but to accept this lifestlye. He had to choose between his insecurities and his love. He chose the later. It seems romantic, yet somehow putting myself in the other person's shoes. It seems pretty sad, and even frustrating.

Talking about this to a friend that I know, he said that it increases the intimacy between the lovers. Because they see that even though they sleep with others, they always come back, and after a while, you realise that they would stay whatever happens, or whoever comes. It seemed to be so cool. May be its that ultimate form of love where you let the other go for his happiness, and seeing him happy makes you happy. It sounds surreal. Will the other guy ever get committed to you to see you happy? to see you worry less? to share intimacy with you alone? May be not! but then I guess when love gets conditionless, you may rather take to those emotions and live than to loose the person over anything.

As far as I know, I haven't met anyone as such to whom I would accept for an open relationship. Nor, have I met anyone to be committed to me for my peace of mind. 

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