Hope in Hopelessness

It wasn't the first time I have lost hope and wont be the last. We are all familiar with those days when you kinda know that you might not find someone whom you can call your partner. To me, those days have become frequent. There were days when miraculously I find someone whom I would be interested in, but those days have become less frequent. Whatever may it be, being spoiled by those whom I was romantically involved with, I had to set my hopes high. Sometimes, that gives me the hope that still pushes me through. Gay relationships are hard to find, a decent guy amongst the them is almost impossible. Fake men are around the world. Assholes crowd our community, but the minute you find the right guy, its all worth it.

The way a gay man can be romantic and the things I have heard guys have done for each other when they date is just amazing. I have heard those stories, and love to hear them more. How they miraculously met out of all the other guys with all the paradoxes aside. How they have traveled across the world to be with the guy they like. How they have traveled together and have seen the world. The small romantic gifts they give each other. The letters, the conversations, the jealousy, the insecurity and even the drama. The most beautiful relationships that are as manly yet feminine I have seen are from the gay relationships, where the give and take are highly mutual and the roles are so versatile. The passion and the care is so vivid and free.

There are always these men who use the other and tamper them beyond repair. It takes time to trust and love again, all these stories may not have a happy ending, yet, I see their eyes glow of the memory.