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Time - passing

It hit me hard recently one day, when I felt so wrong about my encounters with the guys whom I have dated in the past. I was angry to a point that I got confused why was I so angry at them, as being with someone and moving on if you don't like them is something that happens normally. Yet, I was furious at them. Then I realized that there was that one word that pretty much summed up my love life than anything and that was "Time pass". What is the difference between "Dating" and "Time pass" is just that. Dating involves an inherent need to see if the relationship lasts, they flirt and make out, hang out and what not with the agenda of being together and being comfortable, compatible with each other. Time pass doesn't have that agenda. You are bored, you have the time and the money, and you use the other person to fill those time you would rather watch a movie. The other person is your "Entertainment".

In no case have I seen any one I have dated as a Time pass. At least to my knowledge. I was offered "Lets be a couple for a week" kinda offers, but that would never work for me. "You are being too uptight", my friend would say, but is that so?. I don't understand how I could spend my time with someone and be intimate with them knowing that they are not going to be part of my life. I did try, to be honest, but my damned heart would start dreaming about the person for the future, then comes the thought that I am wasting my time with them. Every guy I have dated or moved closer, my thoughts were to stay settled, and I wouldn't dare waste someone's time if I didn't think I'll be able to be with them. But, those were just my thoughts. Even as a friend, I don't think I'll be able to be the "mind my own business" kinda friend. I see that I am not alone. I see those guys who would come close, may be too close, but again, If I don't see a future, I would rather stay away than time pass with them. Because, I wouldn't want anyone else to feel that they are piece of furniture that was used to warm my seat, the way I felt with others. 

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