Being Closeted Indian Gay

Closeted men face issues silently that Open gay men may or may not understand. We hold a secret, that we cannot let out or keep inside. The pressure is real. Although Closeted men are comparatively comfortable being in the closet. Relationship with a Closeted guy isn't easy. Hence, most of them end up staying single, or with "Friends" whom they meet occasionally for sex. Then there are those who are only into hook -ups. A few things that all closeted gays go through, that they stay single -  Being Discreet -  Discreet Closeted guys are always under the issue of being "out-ed". More so because the gay world is a small group. The guys you date would have friends of friends of friends who could be open and know someone from your office or family. They wouldn't be comfortable taking pictures with the open ones, or getting around with their friends. With the open crowd trying to own up to their sexuality, the discreet cannot risk being tagged. They are al...

To a wide eyed newbie potato that I was, I have come a long way. May be i didn't realize it, or may be I experience and dig deep to whatever I like. There are a  few things that I wish to say. All men are not bad - Initially I used to think that all men are bad. That they are looking only for sex. That they are animals who rape or abduct you, who would even kill or use you. Worst of all expose your secret to the world. I found it to be pretty stupid when I realized that most of the men were friendly, vulnerable and even scared than you are. I have seen the best of men in the gay world. They have taken good care of me, they have guided me, they have given me strength and made me feel comfortable in my skin. In fact, I saw that we all deal with the same emotions of shame, guilt and frustration. We all have fear. We all have strength, love and wisdom. Still. Be prude - Having said that, I feel that we have to be careful nonetheless. May be I found the gems (and a few rocks) b...

Most of us have grown up in a very "straight environment". Almost everywhere, everyone around you are talking about the love or any kind of relationship between a man and a woman. I don't remember at my early age, anyone ever talking about "being gay". It was even considered a taboo. Abnormal. At this juncture, when you fall for a guy, then you are supposedly the girl. But that was not the truth. Every song, every movie, every series, novels and what not is about a guy and a girl. Even with so many "Dos and Don'ts" and "manuals" for dating for the straight couples you see that they some how accept each other for all the flaws and strengths they have. But, what do Gay men have as a means for it? We all find these tabloids and may be one or two comic gay characters in mainstream media, and most of them are either too dark and pathos or too comic and idealistic. Since we haven't seen a real life gay couple from our childhood, it is ...

There are certain things that I had to change over time. But somethings don't change. Looks are the easiest thing to change, personality takes time, but preferences, attitude and more than anything, moral values may never change. May be because deeper down, I am traditional and old school. My ex Kel, wanted to make me his, I had accepted him for all his flaws, may be because I loved him. When you love someone, their flaws seem small, but there came a time when he wanted me to be with him while he wanted to get married. Some part of me felt that it was cheating. He might have been married already, for all I know. Although I could have changed anything about for him, to change my moral values for him, didn't happen. That caused a rift in our relationship that never mended. Be it with SDev, I was a teetotaler, but I used to drink with him, I couldn't differentiate Beyonce and Rihanna, but for him I used to listen to English music. Kel used to like old classical songs, I s...

We all know that puberty is a changeover that we all go through. But changes sometimes for us are mandatory to find someone we love, and feel worthy of their love. I remember how I dreaded the way I looked. I was fat, as a high school student, A nerd. Specs, books and plain shirts. All I could think was some magical transformation or people who took me for who I am. But the truth was far from that. I was rejected, ignored and even forgotten. The personality that I had built inside my head gave good company only to me. All those who claim to be Sapiosexual or anyone else they claim to be, at the end of the day fall for your "personality". Personality that they lack or they have in ample. I don't remember the last time anyone took someone who doesn't have a personality, seriously. Then I realized that I had to work on myself in every way if I wanted someone to respect me and take me seriously. At least in the gay world.  As days went by I worked on myself. May ...