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The Changeovers -2

There are certain things that I had to change over time. But somethings don't change. Looks are the easiest thing to change, personality takes time, but preferences, attitude and more than anything, moral values may never change. May be because deeper down, I am traditional and old school.

My ex Kel, wanted to make me his, I had accepted him for all his flaws, may be because I loved him. When you love someone, their flaws seem small, but there came a time when he wanted me to be with him while he wanted to get married. Some part of me felt that it was cheating. He might have been married already, for all I know. Although I could have changed anything about for him, to change my moral values for him, didn't happen. That caused a rift in our relationship that never mended.

Be it with SDev, I was a teetotaler, but I used to drink with him, I couldn't differentiate Beyonce and Rihanna, but for him I used to listen to English music. Kel used to like old classical songs, I started to enjoy "Kora kakaz tha...", for him. I was poles apart from both my exes, I changed for them, I made compromises and I had forgiven them out of love. But when SDev had been cheating on two (or more) guys, it was a deal breaker.

May be my value systems were too strong to accept them that way, and I didn;t think they would change. They didn't have the need to change.

Then I guess I started to more assertive, sometimes a bit lenient. Kissing only those I feel like kissing. Waiting for the special someone to loose my "anal" virginity. Not sharing my number until there is an emotional connection. Making it clear that I am flirting and there is nothing else. Most of all, being straight forward about what I feel instead of beating around the bush.

I realized that I wouldn't want to shave my beard off or loose/ put on weight, invest in someone emotionally unless I am very sure. These things, I believe have not changed over the years. The yearning for romance is something that has not changed. Though the outer personality has become trendy and up to date, the inner nerd that I am stays the same. May be there are certain core things that don't change. 


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