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Being Married

When you really connect with someone who is going to get married and has a fiance, and he says "if only had we met before", isn't something you just take. I was adviced by more than couple of gay friends and Bi friends who said that Gay relationships are not trust worthy, that you should get married and settled down with a girl. At this juncture in life, marriage is a long way to go, yet, those of you who like you, love you and care for you being married or engaged doesn't give a great feeling about it. Things that I feel when a gay guy gets married.

Its a Sham -

A couple of guys have approached me that I be their "partner", while they are married. I honestly felt bad for the girl. While she exclusively loves him and waits for him to give her attention, he goes around with guys or a guy, to quench his thirst, sexually or otherwise.

Being taken for granted -

It feels like that one guy is taking the girl for granted, that she deserves only this and nothing more. Its basically cheating (no, relationship with the same sex doesn't make it "not cheating"), if you are married, be committed to the girl.

Don't get close to a guy, if you are to get married -

Most of the stories I hear are about how guys love and romance with a guy until they get married. In fact, I have been a victim of it, where you get attached to a guy with whatever he gives and you think he is "your guy" only for him to leave you and get married and be someone's.

Being True to yourself -

At the end of the day, its about being true to your real nature. Whether you like it or not. Marriage is a commitment for a lifetime and to think that you are going to be with someone just for the sake of marriage, a love less companionship, or an adjustment, sounds like we are lying to ourselves, those close to us and everyone else.

Having said that, seeing the case of every guy being extremely reluctant to come out of the shell, including myself, I feel that unless you get a partner you are sure of, its better to avoid guys and get married, hide your feelings inside the rug and move on, however painful it is. Like most of them, I guess we would get used to it. Its not like all women look for passion or love.

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