Being Closeted Indian Gay

In the past few years, knowningly or otherwie, whoever choosy I had been, I realised that I had dated a couple of guys now and then. These guys are the kind whom we have all dated at times. Now I don't know what I fall into though. May be I fall into all of this together.  The DemiGod -  I have explained about DemiGod long before when I had ended it with one. DemiGods are, for some reason the type that I feel are approachable. Yet, they don't let you in beyond a point. DemiGods are those social media butterflies, who post fancy pictures of the places they have traveled and the kind of food they have, and the kind of people they hang out with. They would hardly talk to you, if they do, you are under them. They have no feelings for your existence. They might be behind you, but for some reason, and to them they have enough fan following that you are easily replaceable  The Mama's Boy -  The Mama's boy is the sweetest guy you would ever date, he is caring...

Having seen the Logic of Top, Bottom and Vers. Bisexuals are by far the most illogical souls in the world. They have someone made their logic based on the cat on the wall situation that they are in. These Bizarre logic makes it hard for any guy to date them. Its not cheating, when its with Guys-  These married/divorced/ committed Bisexuals sleep around with men as much as they like and they are still "committed" to the wife because they haven't slept with a girl. But then this is a logic that I don't understand. Now, these men don't have to be committed to the men they sleep with, because men are not commitment material. They can sleep with anyone they want. and if you are someone who would like to be committed to one person, well, you are just asking for too much. Women have self respect - Men shouldn't  A Women has all the rights to question a guy if he cheats on her. Now then he is guilty and would have some remorse. He would win her back by apolog...

However be the love that you have for the guy you are dating, and how much ever he claims to like you, all that you feel in the end of the day is like a dirty secret. Now I would be a hypocrite if I say I don't make the other person feel the same way. My boundaries have been very clear with the guys I have dated too, but then I wouldn't take advantage of their love and let them remain a dirty secret. When I like a guy, I would make sure he gets to be around. May be as a friend, or may be more. I wouldn't mind. But then I sometimes loose interest or hope in being with men who treat me like a dirty secret. I would in no way force a guy to make us "official" to everyone. I don't know if I am that comfortable with anyone for that matter, but when you are prohibited in any way to show your love is kind of embarrassing and awkward. One guy I dated with be highly affectionate when he is with me, but then I am not supposed to send kissing smileys and say I love y...

Sometimes when you talk with well-read and well - travelled guys, you realize that they have read a lot of western philosophies and traveled to western countries. For some reason, As someone who has been well-read in eastern ideologies as well, and have well-travelled across India, and to have been from an culturally poise environment, I simply am not able to change my stance. The "adarsh" desi that I am at heart is very much strong. My value systems, that I hold dear to. Casual Sex - The desi that I am casual sex is kinda still "dirty" for me. I have had encounters as such, but deep down, I must admit, I don't feel satisfied. Its a momentary thing, There is an urge and I get going with any guy I am attracted to, but what next?, I just had an intimate moment with a stranger and that warmth, intimacy and pleasure, all gone with the end. I would rather have a bond with a stranger over coffee and talk about everything under the sun than to be in bed with him a...