Skip to main content

Karma is a bitch

Be it in career or love, Karma is the biggest bitch there is. It is highly seen in the gay world and makes us grow crazy. For I have experienced it served hot. Getting rejected by several profiles who you like, for the profiles you ignored. Being pretentious to men who care for you, only to care for men who are pretentious to you. Being condescending to men who are effeminate, only to be seen the same way by straight men.

I was in pain, when I fell out of relationships, when I remotely felt that the interest was gone, or when there was a condescending look, when there was some ex who has still lingering in his head, a new friend whom he was texting or when his attention fell for someone else. Incidentally, when I had to distance myself painfully with such realizations, the last thing that I wanted to do was hurt someone the same way. It was ironic when I felt all of the above in one person, and when he sensed it, he moved away. The feeling was confusing and the pain was hard to comprehend.

Karma didn't let me go. and to escape it was very hard. I went through the same emotions as those I left and seeing another person react the same way as I reacted to others was bitter sweet. To come out of this issue , I wished that there was someone who liked me as much as I liked him, and there did not have to be such issues. passionate , understanding and faithful. Idealistic as it sounds, isn't that what we all want?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of

Being Married

When you really connect with someone who is going to get married and has a fiance, and he says "if only had we met before", isn't something you just take. I was adviced by more than couple of gay friends and Bi friends who said that Gay relationships are not trust worthy, that you should get married and settled down with a girl. At this juncture in life, marriage is a long way to go, yet, those of you who like you, love you and care for you being married or engaged doesn't give a great feeling about it. Things that I feel when a gay guy gets married. Its a Sham - A couple of guys have approached me that I be their "partner", while they are married. I honestly felt bad for the girl. While she exclusively loves him and waits for him to give her attention, he goes around with guys or a guy, to quench his thirst, sexually or otherwise. Being taken for granted - It feels like that one guy is taking the girl for granted, that she deserves only this and no

Why I don't fit in the gay world

As a closeted Bisexual, I feel that I am not understood. I am not understood by both gay men and Straight. May be because being Gay is portrayed in a way that I am not and it is hard to fit in. When I went to meet a gay friend of mine, He made me wear make up and I just wanted to throw up. I didn't want to dance bharathnatiyam, nor do I enjoy "classical" music of any sort. I don't watch "Ru paul's drag race",  nor do I always pout for the selfies. I don't want to dress up and giggle and I don't have "Girl" friends. I dont like to be referred as "She" nor will I want to refer a man as "She". May be the only thing that I feel is the same with another gay guy would be the fact that both of us want to be with a man. And having said that, I want a Man, who would have the attributes of a man. No, that does not make me a girl, no I don't want to behave like one too. I am not so expressive and I am not dramatic. I don