Skip to main content

Being Demisexual - 2 (vibe-sexual)

Also many think that Demisexuality is when you don't care how you look or how smart you are. No, that does not mean I don't look at everything else. But I might not be attracted or be able to connect unless there is an emotional warmth that I feel. There are several good looking, smart men, but how many of them make you "feel" comfortable?.

I might have a type I am physically attracted to. But if there is no emotional bond, or when the talks are just empty hollows, it wouldn't matter if you are the most handsome man on earth. You might be a multi millionaire, but if you can't be humble and warm, or someone who simply looks for trophies to fuck, then it would burn me to be physically intimate with you. You might be the next Einstein, who crack the codes of the universe. I would appreciate your knowledge, don't get me wrong, but if you were aloof and outwordly, It would still make me feel disconnected. At the end, it all comes to the "vibe" of you. If that's not called Demisexual, let me call it "Vibe"-sexual.

When you are Vibe-sexual, you simply look at the person as a "whole", the warmth and the secure feeling that they bring through their presence. Even when I kept looking at the physical preferences, I think I go for someone who would be visibly protective. May be mental stimulation is the last thing I am looking for, as I have been doing that myself for years now. I would look for someone who can emotionally anchor me or stimulate me.

Coming to those I had dated in the past, its that one thing that really mattered to me. How they treat themselves, the people around them, and me. How we split is something to do with morality. Coming to think of it, may be one of them I took at face value. It hurt enough. The logic however is simple. How you treat others, matters. What matters more? Intention. Which, the "vibe" first picks up.


Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of

Walk of Shame

usually walk of shame happens when you have had sex with a total stranger, and you just regret to have done that while getting back home in the morning. But, to me it was different. Some few months back, I met this guy, he was really smart. well behaved and very talented. Mind you, I didn't meet him on any apps, but for work. Everytime he comes to work, he gives special attention to me, while other men "see", he "watches" me. While other man just touch, he "feels" me. He used to openly make it clear that he is there to see me and me only. I used to feel so special. But I never had the guts to reciprocate. Partly because the reputation he has for being a player. he is extremely smart, very soft spoken and has that charm. Girls fall for him so easy. I used act like I don't like him, but all my peers started noticing the attention I get from him. He talks only to me, the way he looks at me, how closely he stands, how he gets pissed if I have a figh

What I would tell my young gay self

Sometimes when you are gay, you are isolated, there are no mentors to guide you what is right and what is wrong. You have to tread carefully and move forward. With all the experience that I have gained so far, I would have to see what is gonna work and what doesn't. A few things that I would want to tell my younger self if I were to meet him. 1) They are as scared as you are - I remember the days when I used to ask a hundred questions before I share my photos. I was worried that I would be blackmailed, that I would be raped, and that the guys would kidnap and sell me off. Yes, all this does happen. There are many who are really evil, but as time went, I realized that most of the guys are just helpless and are scared themselves. There are many married men who live a double life, there are famous men, who don't want to come out, there are young boys who are going through the same as you. In fact, some of them are more closed than you are! 2) You would be rejected - Rej