Skip to main content

Fem for Fem

There came a random post by my openly gay friend, who had claimed that those who go for "Masc for Masc", is something offensive to gay community, and that it just follows the patriarchal culture, that doesn't let a Masc accept a Fem. To stand up for Fem gay men is pretty good, but to judge the Masc for his preference is what made me feel uncomfortable.

This friend of mine, who is proudly fem, has not dated any Fellow Fem guys!. In this, I see a paradox. I have hardly seen any fem guy "date" another fem guy or prefer one. If given a choice of a Masc or a Fem who is interested in a Fem guy, the choice could very well be a Masc, at least my friend here, would drool over the manliest guys on insta or Facebook.

He has all the choice to choose how he wants to be. Flamboyant, loud, feminine, and he even could be a Diva, but for some entitlement of sort, he wants the Mascs to adore him, sexually. While he would be "inspired" by the fem guys and the drag queens, will he date one?. There are many Mascs who date Fem guys, but how many Fems date another Fem? Mostly they just end up wanting to be "sisters" or "friends". If you say that its biological,  may be its the same for a Masc to be attracted to a fellow Masc.

"Fems stay away" isn't the nicest thing to read, but why bother?. Its the same as a fat girl wanting a handsome guy, who is ignoring her, to "like her for who she is", but wouldn't date the nerdy guy with a pot belly, for his heart!.

In fact, I would like to see more "Fem for Fem" profiles saying "Mascs stay away". In that case, the community could be a bit more open towards their own kind. What I have mentioned here could be something really offensive. But I think we need to start empowering ourselves first, and giving ourselves the first preference instead of moral-policing others into accepting us.

Having said that, There was one guy who preferred open and sorted guys over a closeted guy, whoever he may be, and I still think its legit. when open men prefer others who are open, although it might be like forcing a closeted to come out, it still means that he doesn't morale police you, but simply prefers someone with whom he can be seen in public with.

If "Open for Open" could be a thing, why not "Fem for Fem"? that Masc for Masc seems as legit as any other preference. And no, All Fems need not be Bottom, and all Tops need not be Masc. I am sure a new wave of acceptance, starts with us.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of

Walk of Shame

usually walk of shame happens when you have had sex with a total stranger, and you just regret to have done that while getting back home in the morning. But, to me it was different. Some few months back, I met this guy, he was really smart. well behaved and very talented. Mind you, I didn't meet him on any apps, but for work. Everytime he comes to work, he gives special attention to me, while other men "see", he "watches" me. While other man just touch, he "feels" me. He used to openly make it clear that he is there to see me and me only. I used to feel so special. But I never had the guts to reciprocate. Partly because the reputation he has for being a player. he is extremely smart, very soft spoken and has that charm. Girls fall for him so easy. I used act like I don't like him, but all my peers started noticing the attention I get from him. He talks only to me, the way he looks at me, how closely he stands, how he gets pissed if I have a figh

What I would tell my young gay self

Sometimes when you are gay, you are isolated, there are no mentors to guide you what is right and what is wrong. You have to tread carefully and move forward. With all the experience that I have gained so far, I would have to see what is gonna work and what doesn't. A few things that I would want to tell my younger self if I were to meet him. 1) They are as scared as you are - I remember the days when I used to ask a hundred questions before I share my photos. I was worried that I would be blackmailed, that I would be raped, and that the guys would kidnap and sell me off. Yes, all this does happen. There are many who are really evil, but as time went, I realized that most of the guys are just helpless and are scared themselves. There are many married men who live a double life, there are famous men, who don't want to come out, there are young boys who are going through the same as you. In fact, some of them are more closed than you are! 2) You would be rejected - Rej