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Recognition

When I started this blog, I had hardly any readers. I didn;t mind. I didn't write it for recognition. Seeing, my blog, a dear friend of mine said that I should show it to some Gay magazines. And so I did, just a try. Fortunately, the editor accepted that my posts as the "Caped Crusader" be published. I worried at times, that my posts hardly got any response. Not much comments, not much mails. Now, it was my mistake to compare the response I received, as a former "Gay Erotica" writer. I used to open my mail to see at least five mails (sometimes I get even today). Am I proud of it? Well, I feel like the Gay version of Sunny Leone, I am not particularly ashamed of it, nor am I gonna flaunt it out.

But the real recognition that I got was in the land of Qupids. As I went through my timeline, I saw a post from Gaylaxy, that was shared, the topic was familiar, and then I realized that it was my article!. It was a bitter sweet moment for me. The fact that my article is being shared around and people are actually reading it! and also that its a news that I cannot share with anyone close, not my parents, not my friends, infact those in the group wouldn't know who I am.

I shared it with a few of those who know its me. I felt like I should shout out to the world that my thoughts are being recognized, that my writing is being shared. It gives a kind of happiness that I feel recognized, and for all the right reasons.

When I started the blog, I felt like a looser. But now, I feel that my presence in this world mean something. The fact that I like men, had some purpose. If my words give someone hope or resilience, I don't think anything else matters. Even if one person takes what I give objectively, starts to be empathetic towards each other, raises their voice against those who use and abuse, I think that recognition would give me a satisfaction, a purpose, a reason for my words. A prime source of validation from my blog.  

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