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Monogamy, a new perspective

Monogamy is seen as something that is heteronormative. That it doesn't and cannot be defined in a homosexual relationship just because there is no "child" involved. To me, I believe that it is more than that, I prefer monogamy with a man for various other reasons, that I find to be the best place to be. After leaving all the social apps, I think its been a month. I don't have the anxiety of "missing out" on a lot of people. I am content to be the one, who for now keeps me occupied. I am able to think/ speak and emote with one person, whom, to my knowledge is exclusive with me (although we are not officially together, as I want to be sure sure). The other reason being, I don't have to face the pain of rejection from random men, being called out for "just sex" in lewd ways as possible. Also, I don't have to reject men, who could be fine as they are.

To me, polyamory or open relationships don't make sense, simple because we think the other person is "not enough". I have been told, seeing my face, by a face reader that I cannot stand in a monogamous relationship, and being Bisexual, I would have to have a girl in my life. For now, atleast, I seem to be content. A gay man has both the male and the female aspect in him and I think when the proportions are right, you can very well be content with one.

"Do not do something to others that you don't want to be done to you", is a policy that I follow. If I don't want my partner to be behind multiple men, and if I don't want to share his attention and affection. I would very well be the same. I wouldn't want anyone to be taken for granted. It is as if getting bored of a toy and getting a new one.

People are dynamic, we change constantly. We are not the same person we were a month ago. The person you are with grows along with you, and to witness and be part of that, to me is monogamy. To be able to mold yourself to another's wishes and the other beginning to be molded by you. Its a beautiful process.

Boundaries. There are parts of us that we don't let others see. Even our own body for that matter is sacred for us and we share it only for those who are special. I wouldn't call it "slut shaming", as I have no issues with those who sleep around, but to me, my body is personal to be shared only with those I love. More than anything, may be because I was molested as a kid, I know the value of "touch of lust" and "touch of love", the act of sex and the act of love making.

More than any of this, the feeling of being "someone special" to one person who is special to you, is the best feeling in the world, be it with a man or a woman and any other combination. When there are things that someone does, but only to you, and things that are shared only with you, when there are times spent only for you, and the acts are mutual, the bond is a lot stronger and fulfilling while being with someone to whom you are just an option or even worse, a dirty secret.


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