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Stories never told until asked

I went around to understand my sexuality at around 19 years. My inclination towards men were not just "sexual". It was "Homo-amorous". I wanted to be in love with a guy, and not just sleep with him. I wanted a protector of sorts. I wanted someone to call mine. I searched around mostly for fairytale stories of gay men. There were plenty of series and movies in youtube. Many european movies which showed the beautiful love blooming between two men, and it was a simple and straight forward as a straight relationship.

The case was not the same when it came to reality. May be it felt like that. That there was no one who was looking for something meaningful, even if they did, they were mostly on the receiving end. Every guy wanted to be protected, none to protect. Sexual favors were top on the list of many.

But, I probed deeper. Every man, Whom I have dated, come out superficial. Looking for sex, looking for hook ups, trying to come of as "emotionally unavailable" (may be just to me, cose they could evidently see I was looking for more), they all end up telling me their love story. Which they haven't shared with many. Those small things they do to each other, those cute little things that make each other feel special. Some have lived together, some had lost the love due to many reasons, and from what I can see, when these men are happily with a person, they stay away from social sites, because they don't have the need.

Fearing the society, they don't talk about the romance. A guy I met recently for coffee had told me about his love affair with his distant cousin, who were always together. To everyone else they were just close friends. They went for dates, they slept together, bathed together, flew to each other's house for festivals. They pretty much lived as a couple, but had I met him otherwise, I would have never known. 

From the dirty doc who asked me for my used underwear to My friend's ex who was in a four year old relationship, their love stories don't get shared unless you ask for it, probe for it. There are countless such stories remain hidden in a broken heart, not wanting to revisit the memories, or with a content heart, leading their lives silently to themselves. 

I wish we could bring such stories, whatever be the ending. Let us share the glorious times we have had. Let us make memories, let us inspire the coming generation to be romantic to each, give them hope that if you work on yourself to be a boyfriend material, you won't end up alone. You can grow up to a great husband because there are many other great guys waiting for you. I wish the couples happily together to write about their love stories. Make it look common to have a beautiful love story. Why do only stories of pathos come out? Why do only stories of love failures or hook up stories top the list? Though we are friendly to "Homo-sexuals", may be not so much to "Homo-Amorous" men. Who don't wish to reveal themselves to even those in the community. 

The stories of coming out too, were usually when they were naively single or after a break-up, which the world had to know, but very few, have come out after finding love, and those men except a few don't have the need to inspire. Or may be I just look at the wrong places. But again, which is the right place?

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