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The Death of Conversations

Any of my relationships flourished and thrived in Conversations. Being in a long distant monogamous relationship for a year isn't easy, but I could not have done it myself. Even with all the differences we had, we converse, even as a fight. Getting to know the person happens through this. Knowing about our deeper selves happen through conversations. But, what I lack the most today is just that.

Today, the conversations have died out to "Pics?", "Nudes?", "Type?", "Got place" and yes, sometimes it is pretty frustrating to keep conversations with a lot of people, not leading anywhere. But, now, my whatsapp is barren without those messages. I have those occasional ones from the sites who have good convos, but the underlying contract is that I should fall in love with them, or interested to spend the rest of my life with them. Or else, ciao.

This had happened recently more than ones. I have a good conversation with this person, who read my blog. He shared his, and we ended up chatting for long, until he asked me if I he likes me. I honestly did not feel anything as such, but there was no particular non-liking. But with a bit more probing from him, I had to give a direct no. The conversation ended. After many attempts trying to make one, it ended with the same set of questions, It would have been easy for me to fake in an interest, but somewhere I couldn't lead someone like that. It felt wrong, I felt like I genuinely lost a good friendship. Had I been in his position, may be I would have done the same, or I might have tried to keep the convo going with a small hope of chance.

Another guy, with whom I had a good start, had turned down the convo, knowing that my priorities are different. It felt bad. I don't remember the last time I had a good conversation. May be with a friend of mine, much older to me. Where both of us were simply looking to converse and nothing else. It could be the age.

The same is true with straight people too. Men and women have become so clear that they need something out of the person they converse with. May be its because of "too many options" again. When there are several men/ women who are available for you to talk with, why waste time with one?


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