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The Real thing - 5

The pain of seeing the guy you love and the guy who "Liked", you with a girl. How he can openly romance with her in front of others, while his love to you was confined in private space, somehow made me feel "Dirty". It didn't hit me, until it really happened. He told me that she is just for marriage and that I would be his real love (like). He wanted a girl for his family and himself, and his children. He wanted me to marry, and have a family. Double life. A life of lie. What if one day, she finds out. Should I be doing this to a girl. Should I leave my self respect for love. I thought I deserved better.

He would have been the best. I haven't met anyone who made me feel like the way he made me feel. All this without even meeting him. It was a magic that he weaved, and I had to break out of it. The break up was momentary. I couldn't stay away. There were a few from the app who knew that something was between us. They had asked, I had to partially refuse. When he didn't reply them, They would ask me about him. All the differences kept aside, I would run back to see if he is fine. I would still be glad to be with him, if he hadn't "Ghosted" on me. Sigh. I still dream, some day, I run across him, in some airport, or a club or a coffee shop. With his family, his daughter, who would definitely be pretty and his wife. He told be, last time I spoke to him, that he found a girl to marry, and would marry at the end of this year. He had also found a guy to have occasional sex with. I guess, I deserved better. May be one day, I would look at a guy with love, and no inhibitions what-so-ever, and be stared back with the same intensity. Who would be proud to show me off, and to hold hands. Who would make meaning to all this and more that happened in the pursuit of finding him.What do you guys think?!


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