Skip to main content

The First Real thing - 1

It was quite a long time, had I actually found a good person, whom I mutually connected with after the Gentleman Doc, and as I moved to a new city. The expectations was high, as usual, the scene wasn't that great. I had to up my standards compared to the town I was from, just to make sure that I don't end up with a lot of people under my wing. Discretion was important.

The DemiGod that I met online was someone I wished thought would have a good conversation. But, it turns out the heartbroken DemiGod was Asexual. The Marine Engineer had been in a relationship with an older guy and lived in for two years and one fine day thought it didn't work out. The break up would have been hard cose the reason was simply as painful as any. I wish there was no break up like that, where you as a person just lost the connect with the other. May be that's why my break ups had been dramatic. May be to me, once you join hands the momentary feeling would only stay as long as you go back to the magic. May be that's why I believe in that magic. May be because it happened, more than once. Not sure if that's love, but The first real thing was... magic!

It was not in any site that gay men wander, I found my guy. It was in an app I was interning. The app catered for similar interests and it was quite a thing, back then. He was one of the most handsome guys in the app. I remember looking at his pic and wondering if I would ever end up with a guy like him. And to my biggest surprise, I got him. It started in the most innocent ways, and out of no where, he asks for my number, for someone who didn't share my number to anyone, it didn't take me a second thought to give him. The conversations from them were never ending. It kept flowing like eternity. His attention fixated on me and it was very new. For once, I saw myself beyond the ugly potato I was. He insisted that he likes my mind, whatever that was. We didn't come out to each other, but both knew that it was more than just friendship.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of

Walk of Shame

usually walk of shame happens when you have had sex with a total stranger, and you just regret to have done that while getting back home in the morning. But, to me it was different. Some few months back, I met this guy, he was really smart. well behaved and very talented. Mind you, I didn't meet him on any apps, but for work. Everytime he comes to work, he gives special attention to me, while other men "see", he "watches" me. While other man just touch, he "feels" me. He used to openly make it clear that he is there to see me and me only. I used to feel so special. But I never had the guts to reciprocate. Partly because the reputation he has for being a player. he is extremely smart, very soft spoken and has that charm. Girls fall for him so easy. I used act like I don't like him, but all my peers started noticing the attention I get from him. He talks only to me, the way he looks at me, how closely he stands, how he gets pissed if I have a figh

Shallow Shallow world

I must say that I honestly got into fitness because I got rejected from them all when I was young. How much ever I believed in love, I realized that at the end of the day in the gay world looks speak volume. From a fat ugly potato I trained. From a nerdy guy that I was I got into modelling. It was just recently that for a show I had to wear a loosely clad dhoti,and all those guys who used to  ignore me, especially this one accountant guy, who travels a lot, he and I used to text initially and then he seemed to be busy with all the other guys. Just after this, he starts to text and tell me that he is keen to meet. Well, not just him, there were many others who seemed to be behind, showing more interest. I remember how I kinda rejected to go behind these men who seem to be "hot" but extremely shallow, I wanted someone who would enjoy my company for who I am. Who would listen to what I think of the world, who would know my likes and dislikes. Who would want to spend time wi