I was once asked by my friend, "Why don't you look for guys who are nice, instead of falling for assholes?", and that was a "Eureka" moment for me. Only then I realized how the "nice" guys are a prude. Be it with straight or Gay relationships. The nice guys "finish last", because they don't take an initiative, at least in the beginning. All the while, I remember in my university, how I would avoid "falling" for anyone. I was a prude of the highest order, may be still am. It takes a lot of time and charm to convince me, and when someone puts so much effort in you, you get soft.
But, those who can invest so much in you, would probably get another guy so easy, honestly there is nothing special about me, and it doesn't make sense why anyone would take so much effort, my inner cynic would pass you off as "Player", or "Chaser", and in order to prove my prudence, I would avoid you at all cost, until you leave.
That is pretty much the mindset of the other guys, who could be "nice", but prude to a fault. Who would check if you are one of the "good ones", and lets face it, the "Good ones" hardly chase. This way, the "chasers", the "posers" and the "players" act "nice", to you and several other guys to get you, and break you beyond repair, and then the "broken prudes" don't mingle, unless another Chaser wins you.
It takes a lot of effort to be with some who is broken, their prudence and apprehensions are high, as they would rather stay still, than hurt another person, they would "try", but not chase, as they know that a slight "no", could also mean a firm "no". and they wouldn't "casually" try you, but you would be their only goal, and it wouldn't be easy to "chase" because they don't have any other source to back up their "confidence".
Also, lets face it, the nice guys would be extremely choosy. To be in their inner circle (filled with guys who hit on him and much better than you in every way) isn't the easiest deal, and they wouldn't want you to enter the clique until your waters are tested several times. Sometimes I see the openly welcoming groups and the inner prude and cynic dances around with "what ifs", especially with a broken heart, you would rather not take chances.
But I would say that I love them, the prudes who take time, the cynics who are afraid of the demons. the dreamers who only dream of those who chase you are nice. It is not easy, I know. But, stay strong, and keep your hopes up. you'll find your space soon enough one day, Cose, it takes a week to build a Toyota, and months to build a Rolls- Royce. Be choosy, Be prude and Be a cynic. Its better than to loose your peace of mind over haphazard decisions. Stay tough, Anything you get easy, won't be of value.
But, those who can invest so much in you, would probably get another guy so easy, honestly there is nothing special about me, and it doesn't make sense why anyone would take so much effort, my inner cynic would pass you off as "Player", or "Chaser", and in order to prove my prudence, I would avoid you at all cost, until you leave.
That is pretty much the mindset of the other guys, who could be "nice", but prude to a fault. Who would check if you are one of the "good ones", and lets face it, the "Good ones" hardly chase. This way, the "chasers", the "posers" and the "players" act "nice", to you and several other guys to get you, and break you beyond repair, and then the "broken prudes" don't mingle, unless another Chaser wins you.
It takes a lot of effort to be with some who is broken, their prudence and apprehensions are high, as they would rather stay still, than hurt another person, they would "try", but not chase, as they know that a slight "no", could also mean a firm "no". and they wouldn't "casually" try you, but you would be their only goal, and it wouldn't be easy to "chase" because they don't have any other source to back up their "confidence".
Also, lets face it, the nice guys would be extremely choosy. To be in their inner circle (filled with guys who hit on him and much better than you in every way) isn't the easiest deal, and they wouldn't want you to enter the clique until your waters are tested several times. Sometimes I see the openly welcoming groups and the inner prude and cynic dances around with "what ifs", especially with a broken heart, you would rather not take chances.
But I would say that I love them, the prudes who take time, the cynics who are afraid of the demons. the dreamers who only dream of those who chase you are nice. It is not easy, I know. But, stay strong, and keep your hopes up. you'll find your space soon enough one day, Cose, it takes a week to build a Toyota, and months to build a Rolls- Royce. Be choosy, Be prude and Be a cynic. Its better than to loose your peace of mind over haphazard decisions. Stay tough, Anything you get easy, won't be of value.
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