Skip to main content

The Good ones are prude

I was once asked by my friend, "Why don't you look for guys who are nice, instead of falling for assholes?", and that was a "Eureka" moment for me. Only then I realized how the "nice" guys are a prude. Be it with straight or Gay relationships. The nice guys "finish last", because they don't take an initiative, at least in the beginning. All the while, I remember in my university, how I would avoid "falling" for anyone. I was a prude of the highest order, may be still am. It takes a lot of time and charm to convince me, and when someone puts so much effort in you, you get soft.

But, those who can invest so much in you, would probably get another guy so easy, honestly there is nothing special about me, and it doesn't make sense why anyone would take so much effort, my inner cynic would pass you off as "Player", or "Chaser", and in order to prove my prudence, I would avoid you at all cost, until you leave.

That is pretty much the mindset of the other guys, who could be "nice", but prude to a fault. Who would check if you are one of the "good ones", and lets face it, the "Good ones" hardly chase. This way, the "chasers", the "posers" and the "players" act "nice", to you and several other guys to get you, and break you beyond repair, and then the "broken prudes" don't mingle, unless another Chaser wins you.

It takes a lot of effort to be with some who is broken, their prudence and apprehensions are high, as they would rather stay still, than hurt another person, they would "try", but not chase, as they know that a slight "no", could also mean a firm "no". and they wouldn't "casually" try you, but you would be their only goal, and it wouldn't be easy to "chase" because they don't have any other source to back up their "confidence".

Also, lets face it, the nice guys would be extremely choosy. To be in their inner circle (filled with guys who hit on him and much better than you in every way) isn't the easiest deal, and they wouldn't want you to enter the clique until your waters are tested several times. Sometimes I see the openly welcoming groups and the inner prude and cynic dances around with "what ifs", especially with a broken heart, you would rather not take chances.

But I would say that I love them, the prudes who take time, the cynics who are afraid of the demons. the dreamers who only dream of those who chase you are nice. It is not easy, I know. But, stay strong, and keep your hopes up. you'll find your space soon enough one day, Cose, it takes a week to build a Toyota, and months to build a Rolls- Royce. Be choosy, Be prude and Be a cynic. Its better than to loose your peace of mind over haphazard decisions. Stay tough, Anything you get easy, won't be of value. 


Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of

Walk of Shame

usually walk of shame happens when you have had sex with a total stranger, and you just regret to have done that while getting back home in the morning. But, to me it was different. Some few months back, I met this guy, he was really smart. well behaved and very talented. Mind you, I didn't meet him on any apps, but for work. Everytime he comes to work, he gives special attention to me, while other men "see", he "watches" me. While other man just touch, he "feels" me. He used to openly make it clear that he is there to see me and me only. I used to feel so special. But I never had the guts to reciprocate. Partly because the reputation he has for being a player. he is extremely smart, very soft spoken and has that charm. Girls fall for him so easy. I used act like I don't like him, but all my peers started noticing the attention I get from him. He talks only to me, the way he looks at me, how closely he stands, how he gets pissed if I have a figh

What I would tell my young gay self

Sometimes when you are gay, you are isolated, there are no mentors to guide you what is right and what is wrong. You have to tread carefully and move forward. With all the experience that I have gained so far, I would have to see what is gonna work and what doesn't. A few things that I would want to tell my younger self if I were to meet him. 1) They are as scared as you are - I remember the days when I used to ask a hundred questions before I share my photos. I was worried that I would be blackmailed, that I would be raped, and that the guys would kidnap and sell me off. Yes, all this does happen. There are many who are really evil, but as time went, I realized that most of the guys are just helpless and are scared themselves. There are many married men who live a double life, there are famous men, who don't want to come out, there are young boys who are going through the same as you. In fact, some of them are more closed than you are! 2) You would be rejected - Rej