Skip to main content

The Good ones are prude

I was once asked by my friend, "Why don't you look for guys who are nice, instead of falling for assholes?", and that was a "Eureka" moment for me. Only then I realized how the "nice" guys are a prude. Be it with straight or Gay relationships. The nice guys "finish last", because they don't take an initiative, at least in the beginning. All the while, I remember in my university, how I would avoid "falling" for anyone. I was a prude of the highest order, may be still am. It takes a lot of time and charm to convince me, and when someone puts so much effort in you, you get soft.

But, those who can invest so much in you, would probably get another guy so easy, honestly there is nothing special about me, and it doesn't make sense why anyone would take so much effort, my inner cynic would pass you off as "Player", or "Chaser", and in order to prove my prudence, I would avoid you at all cost, until you leave.

That is pretty much the mindset of the other guys, who could be "nice", but prude to a fault. Who would check if you are one of the "good ones", and lets face it, the "Good ones" hardly chase. This way, the "chasers", the "posers" and the "players" act "nice", to you and several other guys to get you, and break you beyond repair, and then the "broken prudes" don't mingle, unless another Chaser wins you.

It takes a lot of effort to be with some who is broken, their prudence and apprehensions are high, as they would rather stay still, than hurt another person, they would "try", but not chase, as they know that a slight "no", could also mean a firm "no". and they wouldn't "casually" try you, but you would be their only goal, and it wouldn't be easy to "chase" because they don't have any other source to back up their "confidence".

Also, lets face it, the nice guys would be extremely choosy. To be in their inner circle (filled with guys who hit on him and much better than you in every way) isn't the easiest deal, and they wouldn't want you to enter the clique until your waters are tested several times. Sometimes I see the openly welcoming groups and the inner prude and cynic dances around with "what ifs", especially with a broken heart, you would rather not take chances.

But I would say that I love them, the prudes who take time, the cynics who are afraid of the demons. the dreamers who only dream of those who chase you are nice. It is not easy, I know. But, stay strong, and keep your hopes up. you'll find your space soon enough one day, Cose, it takes a week to build a Toyota, and months to build a Rolls- Royce. Be choosy, Be prude and Be a cynic. Its better than to loose your peace of mind over haphazard decisions. Stay tough, Anything you get easy, won't be of value. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of ...

Being Married

When you really connect with someone who is going to get married and has a fiance, and he says "if only had we met before", isn't something you just take. I was adviced by more than couple of gay friends and Bi friends who said that Gay relationships are not trust worthy, that you should get married and settled down with a girl. At this juncture in life, marriage is a long way to go, yet, those of you who like you, love you and care for you being married or engaged doesn't give a great feeling about it. Things that I feel when a gay guy gets married. Its a Sham - A couple of guys have approached me that I be their "partner", while they are married. I honestly felt bad for the girl. While she exclusively loves him and waits for him to give her attention, he goes around with guys or a guy, to quench his thirst, sexually or otherwise. Being taken for granted - It feels like that one guy is taking the girl for granted, that she deserves only this and no...

Why I don't fit in the gay world

As a closeted Bisexual, I feel that I am not understood. I am not understood by both gay men and Straight. May be because being Gay is portrayed in a way that I am not and it is hard to fit in. When I went to meet a gay friend of mine, He made me wear make up and I just wanted to throw up. I didn't want to dance bharathnatiyam, nor do I enjoy "classical" music of any sort. I don't watch "Ru paul's drag race",  nor do I always pout for the selfies. I don't want to dress up and giggle and I don't have "Girl" friends. I dont like to be referred as "She" nor will I want to refer a man as "She". May be the only thing that I feel is the same with another gay guy would be the fact that both of us want to be with a man. And having said that, I want a Man, who would have the attributes of a man. No, that does not make me a girl, no I don't want to behave like one too. I am not so expressive and I am not dramatic. I don...