Skip to main content

Narcissism in Gay world

Being a naive sweet potato, I felt that I can be intimate with a guy one day. I believed that I can be romatic involved with a guy more than with a girl. My love for the men in my life has been completely to one person, while I date. But I realized that I end up being with narcissist. Not all DemiGods are narcissistic but all narcissists are DemiGods. There are two type sof Narcissists, somatic and cerebral. Somatic narcissists show off their body to get attention and Cerebral narcissists show off their brains ( I feel I am one ).

I wouldn't mind admitting that I show narcissistic traits at time. Where I don't feel that intimacy, but I am working on myself for the same. The funny part is that its not their fault. Being Gay comes from a lot of self hatred and shame. You live a life beating yourself up inside, and fearing that no one will accept you. But the truth is, when you are accepted (even treated with love and affection) by the gay world, you suddenly start liking yourself. Then the part that you hated becomes the part that you adore the most. Suddenly, all the attention that you never got, makes you want more.

I see the transformation in the younger crowd. They sensitive self hating kids suddenly end up being self obsessed. They fear if they'll loose attention that they suddenly got, and end up being exploited by other narcissists. How to identify one, is the something we all need to learn!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

End of a time

It's been so long since I wrote. But then when I see people read my blog, and say how much they relate. It compels me to write more. I thought that I don't have much to write anymore. Same old issues, same old stories. I even didn't want to write thinking that the issues I mentioned would probably dilute the matter with too many posts. But then I write today because something recently struck me hard. A conversation with a love interest who is looking for a partner, realized that I talked a lot about my previous love .Which I didn't know was so obvious. But I clearly didn't move on. After may be discussing for a whole hour, he asked if I am looking for a lover or a partner? Because you don't have much time until you spend time loving someone who may never be your partner. That's when I realized that I for all these years, haven't had a proper romance, and I am already out of that age. I am old enough to settle down and look for a partner, instead of ...

Being Married

When you really connect with someone who is going to get married and has a fiance, and he says "if only had we met before", isn't something you just take. I was adviced by more than couple of gay friends and Bi friends who said that Gay relationships are not trust worthy, that you should get married and settled down with a girl. At this juncture in life, marriage is a long way to go, yet, those of you who like you, love you and care for you being married or engaged doesn't give a great feeling about it. Things that I feel when a gay guy gets married. Its a Sham - A couple of guys have approached me that I be their "partner", while they are married. I honestly felt bad for the girl. While she exclusively loves him and waits for him to give her attention, he goes around with guys or a guy, to quench his thirst, sexually or otherwise. Being taken for granted - It feels like that one guy is taking the girl for granted, that she deserves only this and no...

Why I don't fit in the gay world

As a closeted Bisexual, I feel that I am not understood. I am not understood by both gay men and Straight. May be because being Gay is portrayed in a way that I am not and it is hard to fit in. When I went to meet a gay friend of mine, He made me wear make up and I just wanted to throw up. I didn't want to dance bharathnatiyam, nor do I enjoy "classical" music of any sort. I don't watch "Ru paul's drag race",  nor do I always pout for the selfies. I don't want to dress up and giggle and I don't have "Girl" friends. I dont like to be referred as "She" nor will I want to refer a man as "She". May be the only thing that I feel is the same with another gay guy would be the fact that both of us want to be with a man. And having said that, I want a Man, who would have the attributes of a man. No, that does not make me a girl, no I don't want to behave like one too. I am not so expressive and I am not dramatic. I don...